That question stayed with me all day.

I’d never thought of myself as a “StartUp Guy” before. In fact, I have always thought of the Startup Guy as an utterly fearless young entrepreneur who makes money by the bucketload. He is the guy who can come up with a business idea out of thin air and has the fortitude and courage to make that idea a success. You know him, he is the nice-blazer-wearing, fohawk-rocking, cappuccino-drinking smooth-talker who can walk into a room of Fortune 500′s and disintegrate their hairpieces with his ideas. I am not, don’t want to be and will never be that guy.

From day one of “starting-up”, I was absolutely terrified. I had no idea what I was doing, no concept of what success was or wasn’t and I even had to have my vanilla sidekick walk me through incorporation. Don’t tell the IRS, but it took me almost a year to get my first accountant. There was nothing magical or smart about my venture into starting a business.

But, even know, as I really think about it, my quixotic definition of a StartUp Guy was flawed: it was too romantic. No one is that guy, or at least not really. At some point, every StartUp is scared and clueless, praying all the time that a potential client or investor will understand their vision. The truth is, what drove me to create my own business is the same substance burning at the core of every StartUp: Passion.

I love what I do. Love it like a dog loves smelling butts. I’ve worked for big and small companies, worked for crappy bosses, took jobs I hated to get by and quit jobs I liked, yet, in the middle of a recession, 90% passion, 5% courage, 4% naivety and 1% luck, pushed me to do whatever I wanted to do. I knew what I wanted to do and made the decision to just do that. That decision is why I am able to write this post, why I wake up every morning excited about my day. Every business I start, fail or succeed, makes me a better person, a contributor to society and builds my courage to continue pursuing what I want. I created my own job. I created my opportunities. I can create whatever I want, because my passion is stronger than my fear. That idea, creating with passion, is what makes the StartUp Guy. In creating with passion, the StartUp Guy is changing the face of business, creating his own options in an environment that encourages the yielding of passions.

What I would tell anyone who has a deep passion, something they think about in quiet moments and wish they were doing, is to go and do it. Go big, no, go huge and go stupid. You’ll be scared, you’ll have no idea what you’re doing, but it will be fun. If you are reading this and thinking, ‘but I have to pay my bills and take care of my family,’ then this is the perfect time. You will always have to pay bills and will always have to take care of your family. This won’t change. But you can create your own change–your own chance.

Go be a StartUp Guy. Don’t grow old wondering about it.

What has changed most, in me and in my life, is learning to recognize the resistance when it comes and work through it. So, I quit my job, even though the Resistance told me, “you can’t quit, you have a family.” I started multiple businesses when Resistance tells me, “they will all fail and you will fall on your face.” I put my goal in front of me, thought deeply about the steps it will take to achieve it and got to work, even though through it all Resistance fights my every move. It can’t beat the thirty-year-old me and it knows this. Only now am I back to writing, back to thinking artfully and not just plugging away hours for a paycheck. Only now are my goals more than just apparitions. Things change, but I am not afraid of what baggage it may or may not carry, because now I can handle it.

Be fearless in the face of your goals. Step back and see every situation for what it really is. Know that there is no risk, there is only reward…whether that reward be the completion of your intent or the lesson of knowing which path has a dead end. Go confidently always.

When people on the street ask, “Because I’m a nerd” will be an easier explanation.

It is in 200-pt Times New Roman and was done by Chico at Stingray Tattoo in Allston, MA. It’s my fourth (nerdy) tattoo.

The truth is, we only live once. If you have ever had a desire to do something, do it. Today. Everything else is an excuse. Your obligations should not keep you from your dream, but inspire it–drive it into fruition. And don’t confuse making millions with accomplishing your opus. These things are monumentally different. Do something because you want it. It will not be easy, but neither was The Creation of Adam or The Republic, works that simply by being have changed the world and will be marveled through all time. What sparkles of genius forged them into reality, sparkle within you as well. What separates you, me and Plato is fearlessness; pushing through the BS and realizing you can do anything you want if you want it enough. Never, ever let anyone tell you what you cannot do. Go big.

“If you have built castles in the air, your work need not be lost; that is where they should be. Now put the foundations under them. ” -Thoreau.

I turned 21 in college, Lindenwood University, and my fellow members of the renowned “Dirtywood” clubbed and partied every weekend, from the Monastery in East St. Louis to throwing our own bashes in the trailer park (yes, my college had a trailer park). But, I have to say, my daughter is a pretty rad kid and the fun we have hanging out easily trumps the trailer park madness. We go to playgrounds, parks and with her, I always have an excuse to get on slide if I feel the need. It’s awesome.

9. People Call Me Sir (It’s kinda cool).

When I go to the bank they always say, “Yes sir, have a great day Mr. Campbell.” I dig it.

8. I don’t have to wait for Santa (or anyone else) to bring me a 50 in flat screen, I can go get my own.

Certainly beats watching TV on a 20 inch screen and eating Jack in The Box in college.

7. 5 more years and I can be president.

Just sayin’.

6. Getting carded makes me smile

I actually kind of look forward to it. I roll up to the check out line with my bottle of Cab and just wait. Mind you, if they don’t card me I instantly go home,  shave, do some push ups and put on my old Volcom hoodie. Which brings me to the next point…

5. My sense of style is more GQ than Hip Hop.

When I look back at pictures of myself when I was 21, what jumps out is the choice of clothes. “Bad” does not describe my style with the proper repugnance. At 21, “dressed to the nines” would usually include a furry kangol with matching pair of Air Force Ones, and a Tampa Bay Bucs jersey. Glad my dad had style and taught me something as I got older.

4. I am a generally happier person.

Being 21 meant everything was exponentially bigger. When my wife watches her beloved MTV shows, I remember what it was like to make something as silly as what someone said about you suddenly become the most important thing in the world. Now that I think about it, 21 didn’t make things bigger, but made the truly important things smaller. Now, I have perspective. I can sit back and realize that I am a tiny, tiny organism on a tiny, tiny rock floating in a tiny, tiny solar system in a tiny, tiny galaxy in a universe that is infinitely larger than I have the capacity to process. With that in mind, what someone said about me doesn’t seem that serious.

3. All the life lessons I learned at 21 by screwing up so often, I can now apply to my life. (And my wife is hot).

Being 21 taught me a great deal. I remember waging war with myself trying to figure out the world. Every mistake, every decision, every relationship–every aspect of being 21 taught me how to be 30. One of best things to come out of all the lessons was the ability to recognize a good thing when it presented itself. I have known my wife since we were teenagers and it took every bit of what I learned as a 21 year old to realize her awesomeness and to appreciate everyday. And, did I mention, she was hot?

2. I’m much, MUCH, smarter.

The common phrase, “if I knew then what I know now,” applied to the 21 year old me. I was an idiot, a dashing, charming idiot, but an idiot nonetheless. At 30, I am smarter, better and more cognizant of the world and the people around me. I consciously try to be considerate and thoughtful and, in all aspects of my life, try to grow.

1. I have stopped trying to find myself and started creating myself.

At 21 we all try to figure out who we are, what we want to be, how we are going to change the world and generally how to become contributing members of society. For some of us, we have a bucket list of all the world-beating things we want to do by the time we reach 30. I had a list and all except one thing I have accomplished. At 30, I have a family, own a business, have a home and every technological gadget I desire. I’ve been to Disneyland, Las Vegas and have even hiked to the bottom of the Grand Canyon. Everyday I write and try to contribute to the world in small way. I have made many friends along the way tried to show them all that good people exist. I couldn’t be happier to be 30. As as for the last thing on my 21 year old bucket list…Michael Jordan, I do not care that you are almost 50. I want my game of 1 0n 1 and I will crush you. BELIEVE IT!

EDIT: Looking up at 40 is equally as terrifying as looking up at 30 when I was 21.

a delight to finally

come to one’s senses

I learned that Louis Stewart was a professional composer and classical pianist He has traveled all over the world playing, composing and conducting. He wrote film scores, played at the white house and even worked as a professor at Berklee College of Music.

We talked for a while after the interview’s generic questions. He told me that he thought schools should put more emphasis on their music programs, and that my generation and the one’s that followed are not as well-rounded with their musical knowledge. “They listen to lots of pop music,” He said, “But, I believe if they expanded and listened to the classics or even incorporated more of the classical style into the music they like, they will be better citizens in general. In my experience, anyone who has been through a real music program, for the most part, do better in life.”

I couldn’t agree more. Matter of fact, I am going out right now to see if I can pirate me some Gershwin.

-Later

My Birthday (30th this yea)

Football games start to really mean something. Conference standings. Playoff points. And everybody knows it.

Bonfires

Orange and Brown

Breast Cancer Awareness

Halloween Candy

I get to show off my sweet Winter wardrobe (which includes Cosby Sweaters

Going to pumpkin patches is not weird

Sitting on my back porch with a cup of coffee and a book.

-Glad you’re here October

I heard her say,

“The risk of youth is recklessness
And the reward of recklessness
Is revolution”
When she kissed me her lips tasted of
Cherry lipstick and cigarette filters.
And she spoke openly the definitions of words
Like,
Verisimilitude, subversion of dominant paradigms, recalcitrance,
And love.
We were only 17.
She listened to the dangerous, classic music
Held captive by slipshod jukeboxes
In places where old men drank
And made love to sorrow.
Our lives were gray then.
We kept our dreams in snowglobes
Shaking them only to see the reverie of youth disturbed.

I loved her because she said to me:

“There will never again be days in the sun where you drink from running water hoses. There will never again be watermelons to stick your face into, swallow without chewing and never once spit a seed. There will never again be an infamy by the illumination of streetlights. There will never be woods that seemed endless and always inviting of adventure. There will never again be still lakes to shatter fully clothed or opportunities to run and run for absolutely no reason.

“You live real life each time you sleep
We’ve learned to fly
Yet stand on our two feet.”

Be young always.